Shadowy Worlds Half Seen

Shadowy Worlds Half Seen

In Shadowy Worlds only Half Seen,

Abide those who before have once Been,

All they were and all they Mean,

Are still aware in waking Dream!

With passion and lifeforce they once Shined,

The Ancestors, legion in rank, deeply Lined,

Make contact, share with your Mind,

Wisdom once more for you to Find!

All their hopes and all their Thought,

All they were can still be Sought,

Their presence still can Forth be Brought,

Once more to speak, for us to be Taught! 

Aware again of visions from unseen Cast,

Listen hard to the Legions so Vast,

Learn well the lessons from the Past,

Take the wisdom thats meant to Last!
 

Suzanne Read 13th November 2010

Greetings and welcome once more Seeker! I'm inspired today to look at the existance of the Other Realms, the Ancestors, and the very nature of Balance and Responsibility that exists. A big topic, one that the time of year naturally brings to mind (with Samhain and Remembrance Day and their focus on those who have journeyed from this mortal coil) and a topic that truly can only be understood by the individual when trusting to their own individual worldview and their own Personl Truth. None but yourself can choose what and how you believe in regards to anything, and your own experiences will obviously bring forth your own unique viewpoint, so all I can do here is share my worldview, and some of those experiences that have brought me to my own understandings. I hope they are of some use for you!

If we look to Newtonian physics we find the laws of conservation of momentum, and Einstein points us to the fact that energy cannot be created or destroyed, merely transformed into another state of existance, these all point to the fact that anything that exists must continue to exist in some form when physical life ends. Granted our bodies decompose, we return to the elements that we are made of and become a one with the mundane world around us, but personally I think there is something more to life, our intellect, our thoughts, our very essence and spirit I believe is separate to our physical existance, certain memories and experiences I can remember that I have never experienced in this lifetime point me towards concluding that I have existed before, not as I am now, but as another being, living and learning lessons, some of which I am able to access, some of which I am fated to relearn, but as one who is Witch I do believe I have been recalled to life by the Old Ones, reborn once more to play my part, to do that which They require of me in Their names!

Our bodies are grounded in the mundane, their flesh resident in the world of the mundane, of physics, chemistry, biology, of the 5 physical senses, a product of evolution as much as the shaping hands of the Old Ones, yet our spirits are something more! Our minds, our awareness, our very spirit has the ability to ponder and work within and without the fabric of the mundane natural world around us. Our imagination is boundless, confined only by the limits you put upon it, this ability to transgress the finite and touch the infinite, allowing ourselves to truly become all that our potential suggests is one of our greatest strengths, allowing us to perceive more than absolutes to work in the face of infinity and find our way forwards! As much as our intellect allows us to process the All around us to make sense of it, there is also more that we are capable of, we are capable of abstract thought, belief in concepts that cannot be proven to exist or physically seen, yet we know exist. In the same way that we cannot focus our eyes to a level to allow us to directly observe an atom, yet we can see experiments that prove they make up the fabric of our mundane reality, so it is with the 'realms' in which we reside, we can physically perceive the mundane realm of reality around us quite easily, yet other realms exist that we can become aware of, sometimes by accident, sometimes by deliberate choice!

Science itself is still finding what it believes, string theory, general relativity, multiverse theory, all are plausible, yet we still have no absolute theory of everything, no set of rules that works on all levels of the mundane, yet the universe works without one, minds much superior to my own spend countless hours on finding an understanding of the universe on a physical level, yet most of it is still a mystery to us all!

The first realm beyond the mundane that we can show exists is that of the mind, the seat of our spirit within the physical body, its science is psychology, it exists, it allows our awareness to be and to travel within and without the body, yet cut open a skull and disect the brain and you cannot point to one thing that can show the physical existance of the spirit or intellect in physical existance, it is more ethereal. The firing of pathways in your brain, the electrical activity that forms your conscious thought and allows you to remember, the feelings that make us human, all this still cannot be fully explained by science, yet we know it exists, we have personal experience of it!

It then follows that for anyone who has an open mind, no matter how skeptical they are as an individual, that there must be the possibilities of other realms of existance. Most people will profess a disbelief and some will ridicule those who have a belief (or more). Many who would reject out of hand anything other than physical reality do believe in an afterlife, but what else is a belief in an afterlife other than a belief in another plane of existance?

Take any person, even one with no belief in other realms, and who is unaware on many levels, put them into an environment where they are subject to the influences of Other Realms, and although they may profess that they felt nothing, look to their heartrate, their breathing and let the truth of it actually come forth! Imagine putting them into a darkened haunted house at night, or taking them for a walk in a graveyard at night, their senses will be heightened, they may experience fear, or the feeling that they are not alone, all of which could be explained as nothing more than fear of the unknown. But there we have our clue, they have possibly acknowledged that its the 'unknown' that causes their breath to catch, their eyes to widen in fear, but another name for that 'unknown' could be a touch from the Otherworld, the merest hint of breath from another realm of existance!

Christianity tells us there are 3 realms (if we simplify things a bit for the sake of brevity), the physical world, and then Heaven above and Hell below, yet is this a Truth? Is this all there is, or is it something else, possibly a construct in order to use a carrot and stick to convert and subjugate native peoples to their religion? Only your own worldview can answer this for yourself, but I know what I believe!

As Witch I am somewhat aware of Other Realms, Other Worlds that surround me, a part of who I am is that my awareness is present in more than one reality at a time, though my focus may stray from one to another when I will it. My own personal experiences have proven to me (beyond doubt) that Other Realms, Other Worlds exist, exactly how many, where they lie in relation to one another, whether you can journey (physically or mentally) to them and what rules apply when you are there I will leave to the individual to decide for themselves, I have my own experiences of some of them, that tell me they are real for me, but only you can make your own journeys to experience them and garner whether their 'Truth' becomes a part of your own!

I will however talk about 3 of the Realms I have had the most experience with, the Astral Realm, the Otherworld and the Ancestral Realm. Some consider them to be the same, but for me they are 3 separate realms, akin to each other, but different in how I perceive them and interract with them.

For me the Astral Realm is a place I can journey to through meditation, guided visualization and through pure thought processes, it is a place where I can interract not only with those who reside their, but also a place that I can experience contact with others of the mundane world who have also journeyed their. Constructs can be made and left, and will still be there when you return, places claimed and used, and magick exists in all its forms, the mundane laws of physics can be suspended, if you know how and will it to be. I have journeyed here to a friends Astral home, and recounted the experience, including descriptions of what he had changed recently and left there for me to see, and had them confirmed when I next spoke with him!

The Otherworld is another thing, it shares similar facets with the Astral, but generally is inhabited by those not of our mundane world, it is a place that some of our Beloved Dead and Ancestors also visit, a place you can interract with them and with other inhabitants, those of the Shadow World, the Fae (not fairies, but the Aelfkind, not the benevolent 'fluffy' otherkin of fantasy literature, but the tricksters, the fierce and proud inhabitants worthy of respect and honour in their own right! The Otherworld is all around us, a shadowy reflection of where we are, our perceptions are heightened here, it can be journeyed through without moving in our mundane world, and magic again is rife here!

The Ancestral Realm is a shadowy place for most, some see it as the Summerlands, some as the Elysian fields, some as heaven, it is a place that those who we have loved have journeyed to, to rest, recouperate and reflect before they move further on (either to rebirth or to another level of existance, or simply to be absorbed back into the All). It is not a place ot journey to easily, normally those who reside here will meet us halfway, coming when the veil is thin to the Otherworld in order to communicate with us, as happened at the Goddess Hall Samhain Rite a few weeks ago for myself! It is a place where we do not belong until we are called to pass over, it is where those who now reside their make their choices and decide what they need to experience next, it is a place we should honour and respect and leave alone, it is not for us........ yet!

Having said that though, for me personally I feel we do need to acknowledge and pay repect and honour to 'Those Who Came Before', the legion upon legion of our Ancestors, both those of blood (from who we physically descended) and those of Spirit (who shaped our world, the knowledge and wisdom within it and our own personal beliefs) and Whom now inhabit those shadowy worlds half seen and often unperceived by most. I may light a candle in their names, or choose to include them in our Rites, not just at Samhain (when it is traditional to do so), but whenever I can!

Without our Ancestors, then we would not exist, without their passion, their sacrifices, their triumphs and failures, their will and intent, then we would simply not be here, either as human beings or as Pagans in the modern world! Yet many folks rarely think upon them, rarely honour them and rarely seek the wisdom of ages past, either within their workings or within modern life! As has been said many times by many people, 'If we do not learn from the mistakes of the Past, we are fated to repeat them!' (Look at the Easter Islands and the deforestation and environmental calamity that the islanders brought upon themselves, yet as a species we do not seem to have listened to the lesson and seem intent on repeating their mistakes, but perhaps this time on a global scale?)

Now when I speak of the Ancestors, I am not just talking of the nameless and faceless multitudes from distant past, those from prehistory (whom are those I usually visualise) but also those of a more modern era, those who have died in all walks of life, those whose contributions were small compared with others, but wove with the all to create the rich tapestry that is the world we inhabit. I include those on all sides of all the wars ever fought, I honour their sacrifice and beliefs, the fervour and honour they showed in their beliefs and commitments and the price they paid for it, I honour those they left behind to suffer grief, and those who whatever the circumstance tried their best and did right as they saw it. No-one ever truly starts out as an evil person, we are all victims of Fate, doing our utmost to be the best we can, yet things do go wrong, folks learn behaviours (or fail to learn lessons well enough) that brings their worldview out of alignment with what we perceive as right or wrong, yet who are we (without their experience set) to judge them?

Some of those who came before do show signs of madness, and perpetrate abhorrent crimes upon their fellow humanity, yet are they truly the monsters we deem them to be? Look at the Thurd Reich and all that was done in its name, countless crimes, a true holocaust, yet without it would the world we now live in exist? Could it be (from a very basic point of view) that the Gods saw the need to shake us out of the class ridden hierarchical society we lived in, saw a need to shock us beyond belief to bring a new awareness and compassion to humanity? Have we truly heard and heeded its lessons, accepted the price that countless millions paid in blood, suffering, death and torment in order to teach us these lessons? With all the evils that man still commits against man today, I think not!

From a spiritual viewpoint I include within the Ancestors all those who sought to truly follow their beliefs (whether I agree or disagree with them) and did their utmost to follow their beliefs and share their worldview, but only when it was done out of a sense of wonder, awe and love, something not all religions can truly claim.

Far too many things have been done in religions name that we can look back upon and abhor, some were done in the belief that they were doing right, but many more were carried out not for spiritual progress but for the sake of gaining power over their fellow man! This type of abuse of religion, the misuse if Deity in order to gain ascendancy over another is a false truth and one that I abhor! The use of carrot and stick to convert native peoples all over the world to another religious belief system and remove their indigenous beliefs is one of the biggest crimes of history for me, and one I cannot forgive most of the main religions for perpetrating in their God's names (I will admit some of them felt, believed and thought they were doing right, within their own worldview, but if they had been truly enlightened then would their behaviours have been different?) They have not only destroyed the faith of peoples all over the world, removing the belief and focus of energy that sustains the Gods, but also destroyed countless generations worth of local wisdom and experience, things that once lost are hard to reclaim, especially as without the sustenance of our belief the Older Gods slip further away from us, deeper into the mists of time and become harder to reconnect with, not only as the knowledge of them fades, but as their focus becomes disipated and their identity becomes somewhat lost.

I also include within my Ancestors all those whose work has now been discredited, think of Margaret Murray, she did what she could using what was available to bring back some interest in Pagan beliefs and the Divine Feminine, her intent and belief I believe were true, for her worldview, yet other scholars took delight in shooting her ideas and theories down. Perhaps at that time they were not yet ready for a Reconstructionalist viewpoint.

In fact, although we individually can honour those Ancestors that are our direct kin (in both blood and spirit), those who inhabited the Land we occupy before us, in order to truly grow as a species, we should allow our net of influence to go wider, accepting all those who have ever lived in this world, accepting their truth, their honour, their beauty and their failures, their depravity, their mistakes and the horror of their actions! Only by all upon the planet accepting them all as our forebears, by accepting that we also have a responsibility to learn from their actions, can we as a species learn from the past and grow to fulfill our potential! If we believe that anothers actions have no effect upon us as individuals, allowing others to commit atrocity without our sanction, then we are pacitly giving our permission for them to continue!

We should be aware of the world around us, active in our observation and active in using our voices and energy to share our observations and effect change wherever we can! Without our actions, then the world will remain out of balance, those who have will keep it and remain comfortable, those who have not will live their lives in poverty and fear! Thise who are safe will stay that way, those in peril will have to fight to protect themselves and to remove the threat, and as always when it comes to conflict, those who are stronger will dominate the weaker, both physically and economically. As the world approaches an energy and resource crisis as the population outstrips the planets ability to support us, then things can only descend into darkness as we loose our balance! Only if we begin to act now, finding other ways to live that reduce our impact upon the planet, that live with the Land instead of raping it for our harvests, respecting the Land and all those who live in it, can we possibly find a way forwards, one that will allow us to respect and honour each other and for all to continue living, finding a balance that prevents others from gaining power over us!

This brings me onto my final point, we are all damaged by being out of balance, in the mundane and in our spiritual lives, the mundane is not something I can talk about for your own individual circumstance, but the religious / spiritual side of life is one I can comment on, if only in general terms!

For the past 2000 years or so, since the start of the prevalence of the Patriarchal religions, we have become something less on a spiritual level than we once were, with the rediscovery of the Divine Feminine we have a chance to regains some of what we lost, honouring the duality of Deity as much as we honour the duality of the sexes, we are one species, but two (or more?) genders, we need to be as balanced in our mundane as we do in our spiritual, and vice versa! The Samhain Rite we attended at the Goddess Hall in Glastonbury a few weeks ago brought a vivid and deep experience our way, a connection to the Goddess that made me even think of looking to complete their Priestess Training at some point in the future, but on reflection and having searched my own soul I find that although I admire what it is that they are doing, for me personally it is not a Path I can take. The reasoning, simple, they are (at least it appeared to me) solely Goddess focussed, I admit that in the current world it is probably something that is desperately needed, for some to be so focussed that they begin to redress the balance in favour of the Goddess, returning the world itself to a balance of sorts, but for me I have to find that balance for and within myself, I could not choose to be solely focussed on one side or the other, I have to follow both the aspects of our natures, honouring both the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine, the Lord and Lady, the Goddess and God, as the messages I received said,

'I am the Mother, from whom all that exists flows, for without Me there is nothing, Fear me for I am the destroyer, Love Me for I am the provider, I nourish and nurture, I bring change and growth but also death and decay! Worship Me in all My Glory and Might, Cower before My awesome power, Take comfort in My dark embrace, Draw Power from Me when you have a need, but never ignore Me!'

'I am the Horned One, I plant the seed from which all grows, for without me the Mother is barren and life cannot exist! I am the Hunter, the protector and the Horned One of the Forests and green places, I am He who is cut down so that all life may continue!'

Without both aspects we are nothing, without both sides of our nature being equally honoured we run the risk of repeating past mistakes, swapping a Patriarchal society and religious focus to one of Matriarchical and Feminine focus, no bad thing in itself, but allowing the swing in polarity to go too far would I feel be as disastrous as it has been for the past 2000 years! We need to find that balance, to honour both sides and to work with both!

Thanks for reading, I hope something within caused you to pause for thought or stimulated some process within!

Dark Dreams
Suzanne

Shopping in Glastonbury, a few extra purchases, and the chance of a new Working Group!

Welcome back Seeker, I hope you are still enjoying the Tale of our trip to Glastonbury over the Samhain weekend! Previously we've covered the reasons for the blog's existance, our first impressions of Glastonbury, the hints and suggestions we've been given by the Lady (which we will heed, messages such as these are not to be ignored lightly), the synchronicity of meeting up with a former HPS and the Goddess Hall Samhain Rite, this brings us up to the Monday morning, the dawn of our last day at Glastonbury.

After a hearty breakfast (cereal and fruit juice plus a full english breakfast and toast) courtesy of our hosts at Hill View Farm BnB, we packed the MINI in glorious sunshine, (perhaps the weather was a sign that the Goddess was happy at the honour paid her the night before?) and set off back for our last visit to Glastonbury, calling first at Wilkins Farm for some of his famous Farmhouse Cider!

The Wilkins farm is located about half way between Hill View Farm and Glastonbury, down a dead end road, on the side of a hill, with fantastic views over the Somerset Levels. On arrival at the farm, at 1030am we parked up and went through into the Cider Barn.........

... To be greeted with the most wonderful cider apple smell, a warm smiling face and the choice of lots of these barrels of freshly made cider to taste! After being asked which we'd like to try, electing for the dry we were presented with a half pint mug each, and once that was finished were offered the chance to try all the other types aswell, all for free!! Now Im not one who normally drinks in a morning, nor do I drink and drive, so after the half pint I didnt try any more, and Lee was happy with the dry, so we bought a 5 litre container for ourselves, another for Pat and Colin (as a thankyou for looking after Bella - the dog - whilst we were away) and merrily continued on our way to Glastonbury!

Front of Lee's Top!

Back of Lee's top!

After arriving the first order of business was to go straight to the Goddess and Greenman, for Lee to get his Hoodie, a lovely mossy green thick hoodie, with a stag on the front and a greenman on the back, and lots of lovely celtic knotwork, not cheap but definitely gorgeous and worth every penny!

We'd already splurged on a few items, this lovely gargoyle incense holder..........

....... this gorgeous Stone Circle Oil Burner...........

..... this Maiden, Mother, Crone Chalice (a snip from Lilith), a new hemp bag and purse for me, a new hemp pouch for Lee, a Goddess Wheel (printed card that allows you to see the Goddess of each Sabbat at the time of the Sabbat, very nicely done artwork), some earrings for me, and a few books (you just cant not buy at least one book from a pagan bookshop, especially when faced with the choices in Glastonbury!)

Even though we had already spent enough, we decided to take a last walk around, we'd both been looking at the bronze Hare Statues all weekend, something just said that we needed at least 2 in the house (you cant just have just 1 hare, it would get lonely!), so after looking at the medium size in Goddess and GreenMan we went looking elsewhere, until we stumbled upon the same statues at a lot cheaper price in Man, Myth and Magick!

The ones we'd been looking at were by Harriet Grey, and this one was the first that spoke to us, she is Moondaisy, and of course there had to be a second hare to keep her company..........

........... Buttercup was the next one to catch our eye, and on seeing the prices we decided it was time for us to bring them home! The shop assistant was great, pointing out another Hare in the same range.........

.. whose name is Bluebell, we werent going to buy all three, but after asking whether there was a discount for the 3, and getting a very good deal, we decided to take them all! They are now nicely arranged at home in the lounge, and have already been complimented by several of our friends!

Ok, this post is a little less metaphysical and a lot more mundane, recounting the pagan shopping we did in Glastonbury, but as any Pagan who has the chance will tell you, its nice to be surrounded by lovely pagan orientated things in your home! Most folks who visit us here fall into one of 2 camps when they come into the lounge (with the attendant candles, 3 skulls, large Whicker Man framed drawing (by myself), greenmen, scrying mirror (handmade and given to me by a student I once had), oil burners, medieval type wooden furniture, dragons (lots of lovely dragonspell dragons) and 6 x 4' shelves of herbs in matching jars), they either feel totally at home, or are very nervous, 1 big butch black taxi driver who called once almost ran screaming from the house! lol!

Anyhows, I digress, on returning home to be greeted by a manically happy dog (Bella had missed us a bit) we gave Pat and Colin their cider and invited them for a meal on Tuesday night, then got online to invite H and Andrew and Bear along for a meal and a chat about putting together a new working group.

The four of us gelled so well when we first met and worked so well together as a part of the Circle of the Moon teaching Coven, that although we had to step away (as our focus was moving away from that of the CotM), we've always felt a good connection with them both, and with the message that H and ourselves were given whilst at Glastonbury, it seems now may be the time for us to talk about it and hopefully find a ways to move forwards!

I have a feeling that perhaps the new group will be less hierarchical, with us all on an even footing rather than having a HP / HPS, but that is something we will have to talk about on Saturday when they are coming for a meal! I have some ideas, and know they will too, so it will be a time of listening to one another, finding a way forwards and setting out some of what we'd like to acchieve.

Personally I know that Lee and I would want the group to be balanced, honouring both the Goddess and God, grounded and equally light and dark focussed, with shared responsibilities, perhaps if it happens we will then look to take in others, perhaps even to do some teaching between the four of us, but probably less formally rigid and hierarchical than most other groups, only time and intent will tell!

Today we will be busy at the allotment, preparing for the Bonfire and BBQ, then tomorrow we've some bottles to fetch and some homebrew to sort out, before we will be preparing the house and meal for H, Andrew and Bear's visit, so I'm not sure if I will get much of a chance to update the blog tomorrow, but I will post an update of what occurred at the meal on Saturday night sometime on Sunday! Wish us luck dear Seeker, hopefully this could be the start of something new and something worthwhile for the four of us!

Thanks for reading!
Dark Dreams
Suzanne

Goddess Hall Samhain Rite Samhain 2010 - a personal experience

Greetings once again Seeker, welcome back to the Tale and our recent journey along the Crooked Path.

As I left you yesterday we had just left H and her husband in Glastonbury, after deciding that we would journey together to the Goddess Hall for the Open Samhain Rite that evening, so we'll take up the Tale from that point!

We decided we'd go and eat (again at the Lamb Inn), then pop back to the BnB to get changed and ready for the Rite, now normally when we practice by ourselves we dont use many tools (my Stang and my knife are the only tool I usually dont work without, I know tools are only that, they are not required to allow the practitioner to be effective, but sometimes a tool or two can be helpful), sometimes we use our cauldron, usually we will use incense, occassionally we'll use a few other things, but generally we will work in a non formal manner, using whatever is to hand and speaking directly from the heart without any formal script (although we have used formal rites ourselves and with various groups that we've belonged to), and although we do have ritual robes we dont generally use them (unless at a group rite where it is neccessary), so finding ourselves facing the prospect of going to a formal open Samhain Rite, with no formal dress and without our stangs was something of a problem (especially if like me you suffer occassionally with a low self esteem and dont like to stand out too far from the crowd, for the wrong reason of course! I have no problem with being an individual, nor of standing out when its on my terms, you cant really mind when you are a 5'13" woman with a fairly busty and powerful figure, lol!)

I know the Lady wont mind how you are attired, nor how you look, She is more bothered about your intent and what is in your heart, but I have to say I did feel a bit self conscious about turning up to the Goddess Hall in jeans, trainers, a thin top and a thick wooly jumper, especially as there was to be many Pagans of the local community attending in their full ritual wear! But there was nothing for it, and although those of us not in ritual garb were the exception, there were a few of us, so we didnt stand out like the sore thumbs I had worried about! Lol!

We set off in plenty of time from the BnB, being treated on the way with an Owl flying alongside the car, a Fox crossing the road and pausing to watch us pass and a Hare cross the road, all within a half mile fo the BnB! Travelling along the main road past numerous small villages we saw pumpkin after pumpkin and a fair few kids out trick n treating, something we always like to see when we spend Samhain at home (we normally decorate the house and garden and have a huge pot ot sweeties to give out!)

We arrived at the Goddess Hall just after 7pm, spying H in the queue ahead of us, and being joined by Robin from the Goddess Temple who said hello, making us feel very welcome (Thanks My Lady for that kind thought!). Outside the Hall was a burning Cauldron and a pile of wood for us to add to the cauldron, to release that which we needed by adding to the fire, I cast 'pain' (sciatica, nerve damage, knee and ankle problems) and 'excuses' into the fire, then as the doors opened we all trooped inside, divesting coats and shoes in the entrance lobby before entering the Hall itself.

The hall is a new space for the Goddess Temple, used for Ritual, workshops and as a general meeting place when there are too many attendees to fit comfortably into the main Goddess Temple, it is in the process of being refurbished in some ways, but also in the process of being decorated to do the Goddess the same honour that She is given in the main Goddess Temple. Although the space is new, the decorations for Samhain were excellent, and some of the more permanent fixtures (such as the Goddess pictures for each fo the 8 Goddesses of the 8 directions / sabbats) were already well in place. The site although new had an interesting energy, one that already possessed power, and the space soon filled up as almost 200 assorted Pagans entered the room (the majority being women, although there were a few men present, something Lee was glad about, he connects strongly with both the Lady and Lord, but has issues with anything being too Goddess focussed, preferring things to be balanced, as normally do I)  finding seating (around the outside of the room for those who would find sitting on cushions a bit more problematic) or a cushion in the room. H joined the 2 of us, near the center of the room, and everyone settled down to chat until the Rite began, ostensibly at 730pm, but as more folks were still arriving, it was a bit later than that!

Whilst we were waiting I sensed that the Energy within the room was well out of balance and mentioned this to H, she pointed out the 9 Priestesses standing amongst us in a circle, (each at one of the 8 points of the circle corresponding to the Goddess pictures behind them. The Priestesses were garbed in black with a dark circlet of flowers upon their heads) H said just wait till the Rite starts, thats what the Priestesses are here for, to ensure the energy remains balanced!

Cerridwen and the Cauldron of Inspiration

Not long after this a gong was chimed and the room fell silent, an introduction to the Samhain Rite was made, warning folks of the intention to call down a part of the Goddess into everyone present, and that the Goddess we were going to be working with was a Dark Goddess, Cerridwen, but that Temple Priestesses would be on hand if anyone had any problems! Cerridwen is a Goddess we have worked with for the past 10 years, so not someone we are unfamiliar with (nor She us I hope), nor find usually unduly daunting, but for some of those present their expressions told otherwise! As the introduction was finished the Priestesses balanced the Energy within the room, it almost audibly and visually snapped into a perfect balance, held there by their focus, weaving all our separate energies onto the tapestry of the whole, 1 Priestess immediately to the front of us was holding it like this for most ofthe ceremony, even when the others were busy doing other things. To you, unknown Priestess I give thanks!

The program of events told us there would be a soundscape, Invocation of the Wheel, Poem, Guided journey to the Isle of the dead to meet up with our Beloved Dead, a chance to approach the Altar and light a candle for our departed witnessed by a Priestess, then once the soundscape ends (at a time when it naturally does so) a slow dance led by Katinka and then the closing of the circle and announcements.

The Morrighan, akin to Breagha, the Dark Goddess of Old who was known as Brigantia, Bride and the Morrighan

Next came a quiet time, with gentle soundscape, all the more moving for its dark focuss, centering our internal focus on the time of year, the place we were and the darker energies we would be working with. As this ended we were bid to stand, and the Priestesses called in the Goddesses, as we faced Brigit /Bride I tingled all over, and knew that one of my Patrons, Breagha, was coming forth from the amalgram of Goddesses that Bride / Brigit represents, with my eyes closed I saw a glowing elongated circle, made up of small figures, possibly of  all the women of the past weaving their circles together, overlapping one another to create a tableaux of sensory overload. The Ancestors were with us!

Upon having completed the Invocation we were bid to sit and the soundscape resumed, followed shortly by some breathing exercises and then the start of the Guided Journey to the Isle of the Dead.

The Tor surrounded by water, similar to my vision, but this is not as it was, it was beautifully dark, lit by countless stars in the sky, yet everything had that absolute clarity that can come on dreams, an almost hyper-reality

 The Journey started at night, on the shores of the lake surrounding the Isle of the Dead, for me personally it appeared to be the Tor itself, as it once was when surrounded by water, with a boat gliding towards us. The boat was described as possibly having fae lights, or perhaps a single lantern, possibly as couloured, but for both Lee and I it was a stark black and rough hewn craft, with a dragons head prow and rowed with multiple sets of oars silently towards us, for us both there were no lights, nor did their need to be, the starlight illuminated the scene clearly enough in the still dark of the night! The soundscape of rainsticks, gongs, bells, whispers of voice and silence added to the atmosphere, even the noises from some of those practitioners present were no distraction, more the whole became something much more than the sum of its parts!

On reaching the shore the Priestess in the boat gestured for us to enter, which I did, acknowledging her with a smile, a hand from heart open gesture and heartfelt bowing of the head as I spoke softly 'My Lady', to which she returned the gesture and honoured me with the same! The boat moved swiftly and silently, halfway across the mere the mists descended and the Priestess called down the Power to part them and reveal the Isle of the Dead.

On the shore was an Inn, with a wharf next to it, which the boat reached almost without effort, stepping from the boat it was to be greeted with the desolation of the place, it was cold and frosty, the Inn was dark and foreboding and above us through the trees was the darkly lit Tor itself!

Waiting on the wharf were some of my Beloved Dead, gamboling around were the 2 dogs, Lady and Willow, who passed over the rainbow bridge within a month of each other and whose presence can never be filled (although our rescuse GDxAlsatian, Belladonna does her best and is loved in her own right by us both), who both were happy to see me, much wagging of tails and licks of face. Beyond them were my StepGrandad Roy, who acknowledged me and left with a smile on his face, fading away to nothing more than a breath of mist, then Alison, a friend and fellow follower of Breagha, who smiled, greeted me and also left with a smile on her face, behind her were the Ancestors, reaching back up the hill, nameless and multitude of those who came before, but whispy and only half seen, and as they departed I was left thinking is that all there is, do I mean nothing more to anyone else, is my life so lacking in love and connection that those who came forth stayed but moments before fading into the mists?

Yet there was another figure, a small boy standing at the end of the wharf, who looked at me expectantly and said, 'Mother? Why havent you seen me for soo long?' I hugged him, holding him tight in my embrace, letting my love for my unborn and lost son flow out and enveloping him in my love. Tears were streaming as I experienced this, and again now as I write it, he was never born, was lost to me almost before I knew he existed, and never before has he come to me, never before has he had a face or any connection that I was aware of, yet here he was looking for me, without sanction or regret! Obviously something about the Rite or the trip to Glastonbury or the renewed connection with the Lady has brought down some barrier within me!

With such an emotional and intense experience going on I found myself called back to the boat and transported away from the Isle in a fairly short time, without being able to say much to my unborn son, I dont even know his name, but the Lady was wise in this, stopping me from becoming obsessed, yet giving me a reason to seek out the Isle again in the future, I know who will be amongst those waiting for me next time, until then I know the Mother and Alison will watch over him and he will be free to play with the dogs, Lady and Willow!

I returned to myself fairly quickly, certainly a lot quicker than most, and sat back to ponder and soak up the atmosphere, then again shut my eyes and communed with the Lady, going deep to find myself wrapped in Her Dark Embrace, wordlessly feeling the comfort and peace, knowing I am accepted for whom I am and what I am, that there need be no regret, life is for living, not for worrying about what could have been.

The guided journey / meditation and soundscape continued on for a long while after this, perhaps for me a little too long, but it was good just to sit their and soak in the atmosphere, looking round to see the Priestesses balancing the energies and that many folks were getting something more from the extended time. One mother brought her 2 young daughter to the Rite, both of who had gone to sleep during the guided journey and remained so for a long time after that part of the Rite ended, despite the sheer power and volume of what was to come next!

With a sounding of the Gong the guided vis was brought to a close, the Priestess officiating guided those still on the Isle back to reality, and following this most of  the Priestesses sang in beautiful harmony, yet one did not sing and retained her focuss on the energy, balancing it throughtout!

Next we were bid to stand, and a slow dance and song session started with 'Oh Dark Mother', 'Stone, Bone Crone' and another song, with the energy being raised and our movements increasing in both speed and vigour as we shook the lethargy from our bodies and raised our voices in Her name!

Normally I am quite reserved when it comes to dance, I find it difficult to let go, being too self conscious, but in that place and atmosphere I danced and sang my heart out, even though all this was going on, the children at the center of the room remained asleep, I wonder what dreams they had?

After this the energy was high in the room, and on closing the circle it was grounded in the Goddess Hall, helping to build the power structure on which the Temple is based.

A few announcements and time to leave, the long queue to exit as folks search for their shoes and coats in the massive pile and then out into the blessedly cool night air, a clear night with the stars shining brightly!

The Crone Goddess and the entrance to the Otherworld, where our Beloved Dead and Ancestors reside until their turn for rebirth as a spark from the Cauldron returns to Earth, born once more as Witch in Her name!

We said goodbye to H, after thanking her for being in the Rite with us, it was great to feel her staunch presence next to us, her solid energy there at our side, she had grown exponentially since we last worked together! All 3 of us mentioned the fact that it felt as if the time was right for us to be working again together, along with another friend, Bear, the former HP of the currently defunct Circle of the Moon teaching Coven to which we once belonged, so I said Id try and organise something of a get together in the very near future so we could discuss the possibilities!

After saying our goodbyes whilst walking back to the car Lee shared some of what he had experienced, being asked by the Goddess, 'Why are you here?' to which he replied to bring Sue, to get her a new bag and some earrings, to enjoy our wedding anniversary, to connect and feel the connection, and was told, 'No, why are YOU here in Glastonbury?' A metaphorical slap on the wrist followed as he was told to treat himself to the Stag / Greenman top he had seen, and a few steps further on as we neared the car park he spotted a £20 note on the floor, half the price of the top he had fallen in love with from the Goddess and Greenman shop! 'No excuses' came the reply! Guess we were going to have to return to Glastonbury on the Monday for some additional purchases!

All the stars of the Milky Way, like the fires of our ancestors, and a shooting star, a spark from the Cauldron, a Witch to be reborn!

We returned to the BnB, stopping outside to gaze at the starscape, the fires of the Ancestors decorating the sky, with the Milky Way easily being visible, something we dont see at home due to the light pollution from nearby Manchester. A shooting Star split the night, and the words of one of our former teachers came to mind, 'A spark from the Cauldron, A Witch to be reborn this night!'

I shall stop here for today Seeker, and recount the Tale of our final day in Glastonbury tomorrow, if I get the chance, we have a Bonfire / BBQ to prepare for at the allotment tomorrow, ostensibly a Guy Fawkes night celebration, where we bring along food from our harvests (Pumpkin Pie and Pumpkin Chilli are what we shall be taking, which we need to make today), but deeper down we all know its a Pot Luck to follow the Ancient Fire Rites that we now celebrate on a new date here in the uk, but that have their roots in a much older and darker practice!

Thanks for reading, for bearing with my tale, I hope you find it of use and will return once more to read as we move forwards on our Crooked Paths!

Dark Dreams
Suzanne

Samhain at Glastonbury........ a dialogue, a meeting and a Ritual invite

Welcome back to the tale Seeker, I hope you are following the story and finding something within it that resonates with you're experiences, I'm telling it as it occured, as I saw it through my eyes, this is what happened, what I felt and the conclussions I am able to draw, although please feel free to debate the meanings with me, I welcome honest and open debate and of course all feedback!

Anyhows, back to the tale!

After getting the messages that I shared here with you ysterday, we walked on to the Chalice Well itself, stopping to spend some time communing at one of the seats above the Well, where I began a 2 way dialogue with the Lady (which is something I have always been able to do, now if you are not Pagan you are probably wondering what I am on about, whether I am fully compus mentis or not, but anyone who is attuned can hear the voices of their Gods, all they have to do is open up and listen. Now, whether you personally believe the voices are from an external powerful Deity, from a facet of your own mind that you are externalising in order to be able to work through any given 'issues' or whether it is something else entirely, or even any combination of the above, that really matters not to anyone else, its what matters to the individual that matters and nothing else!)

The Chalice Well, another borrowed picture!

The gist of the conversation was that although it is ok to want to do something, the intent in itself isnt always enough, that instead of wanting we should be doing, and on asking whether this was in Magical or Mundane life, the answer was both! It seems that the desire we both have for living a totally self sufficient ecologically sound lifestyle on our own smallholding, in an earth sheltered home is something that we could be doing more to work towards! Slap on the wrist dutifully received my Lady, information received, and no need for the big stick ........yet!!

The Waterfall, another borrowed image!

Leaving the Chalice Well we descended through the Gardens, following the path of the water, filling our bottles at the Lion pool, lighting votive candles for our Beloved Dead at the Sanctuary, passing the healing pool until we reached the main area near the Gift Shop and Vessica pool.

Vessica Pool and flow form, another borrowed picture.

Whilst soaking up the atmosphere at the beautiful Vessica pool I turned around to see Heather and her husband Andrew walking down the path towards us, que girly squeals and big hugs all round! We were all very glad to see one another, and all agreed that there was more than coincidence in the meetup, as Lee said, 'The Lady works in mysterious ways!'

After catching up and a quick trip to the Gift Shop (I picked up a lovely set of earrings and a charm for my bag) we decided that we'd all squeeze into the MINI and go for a look around Glastonbury together, Heather and Andrew visit very regularly, so know a lot of folks and where to go, so the chance of spending some time with H and exploring the shops with an expert was just too good to pass!

The Entrance to the courtyard where the Goddess Temple is located!

After going into most of the shops in Glastonbury (including a few we hadnt spotted the day before) H asked us if we'd been into the Goddess Temple, which we hadnt, so leaving Andrew behind (he has his own beliefs which we respect and give thanks that he is understanding of H's own spiritual life) the 3 of us ascended the steps up to the Goddess Temple.

The Goddess Temple, Glastonbury, located above the StarChild shop (another fab place for all your herb and incesne needs)

On entering it was to be welcomed by Robin, one of the Temple Volunteers, who showed us where to leave our coats and shoes, then ushered us into the Temple itself, the only space in the Uk specifically dedicated to the Goddess.

Inside the Goddess Temple (borrowed image)

After passing through the veils we entered the main area, making our observances at the altar and then settling down to soak up the environment and commune with the Lady. The atmosphere is amazing in there, peaceful, tranquil, balanced, but full of power, the sort of atmosphere I have only ever before encountered when in a sacred space out of doors before, which did challenge my preconceptions a bit as generally I do prefer to work out of doors nowadays (it wasnt always the case, we had a Craft Room set up in our first house, a converted loft that was painted and decorated with love by us both and enjoyed to its utmost!). I can safetly say that for myself I came to realise that the Goddess true home in the Uk is Glastonbury, that She resides here, and is most evident in the Chalice Well Gardens and at the Goddess Temple, each of which honour her in their own ways, both complimentary to one another. She is present in every area of the Uk, of that I am certain, but nowhere is the focus and power of what has been acchieved in Glastonbury equalled in my experience by anywhere else in the Uk!

 The Goddess Hall, a new building procurred by the Goddess Temple when they found the Temple not large enough to accomodate everyone that wished to attend their Rites.

After spending some time in quiet reflection and lighting a candle in her honour we left, being smudged on the way out by Robin, then made our way outside to meet up with Andrew. After the experience H asked us whether we had decided what we were doing that night, whether we were going to the Chalice Well Rite as we'd half planned, (an outdoor Rite, bonfire, food and a band playing) or whether we were going to go the the Goddess Hall Rite instead, which is where she was going. It took no time at all to realise that whichever we did was fine with the Lady, but having not worked in Ritual with H for 2 years we both felt it was something we wanted to do again, and after experiencing the Goddess Temple it also felt right to go and see how they would construct their Samhain Rite, so we agreed to meet up at 7pm at the Goddess Hall and said goodbye to one another.

I shall end the Tale there for today, and continue with it later, as the next portion is a large one describing the Goddess Hall Samhain Open Rite, which was moving, skillfully executed and did honour in her Name!

The interior of the Goddess Hall, with some of those responsible for it!

Dark Dreams
Suzanne

Continuing the reasons a bit more............. A fortuitous set of circumstance, or something more?

So, lets explain things a bit further, not only to allow the Seeker who is reading this to understand more, but also for myself to work through the experiences and see what comes from my pondering upon them!

Sometimes this blog will be in the form of a diary, sometimes it will be more of a place to air my thoughts, a kind of personal journal covering numerous aspects of my life, both spiritaul and mundane, sometimes merely somewhere to come and rant n rave, and at other times a place to share my more creative work, my hopes are that it will be somewhere others may find inspiration and that I can work through my thoughts, anyhows, we will see how it goes!

So the start of the blog, the resumption of my writing and hopefully some other aspects of our Crooked Path all come from our recent trip to Glastonbury (we got home last night), which was booked by Lee as a surprise Wedding Anniversary treat (10 years married on Samhain!) We stayed at a BnB on a smallholding, about 10 miles outside Glastonbury (as we would both love to have a smallholding Lee thought it would be a good idea to visit one, which it was), travelling down on Saturday and going straight to Glastonbury before we went to the BnB later on. Our plans were to visit Glastonbury on the Saturday, possibly return on the Sunday for another look around, then explore some of the local area and possibly try and do some photography!

I didnt manage to stop and get a piccy of how it looked in the rain, with the storm lashing down, but this borrowed piccy shows something similar, but no where near as heavy a downpour as we were greeted with!

The Lady had other plans for us though! We had a good trip down in bright sunshine, about 3 1/2 hours from Manchester to Glastonbury, via Bristol (the Sat Nav told us there was a hold up on the lower M5 so took us through Bristol and onto the A and B roads, the upshot of which was we were treated to a fab view of the Tor as we came over the hills towards Wells!) As the Tor came into view it was shrouded in black clouds, with a heavy downpour falling. As we reached the Car Park in Glastonbury the clouds cleared, the rain stopped and we were bathed in sunlight once more, a fortuitous start!

Stock image of the High St, I didnt manage to get the cameras out once whilst we were down at Glastonbury, so please forgive my blatant use of images from the web, its not normal for me to neglect the camera, but this weekend wasnt about photography, even though we thought it may well have been, it was about something else entirely!

Making our way into the High St we started to look around the many shops, as it was our first trip to Glastonbury we didnt quite know what to expect, but having been practitioners for many years and having been into many Pagan shops before, we thought we'd be fine.......... but the sheer volume of choice, the different environments and the incense, added together with the general energy of the Tor (a definite place of power) meant we were reeling by the time we'd been in 3 or 4 shops, overdosing the senses with all manner of good things!

We had an enjoyable time looking in all the wonderful shops, soaking up the atmosphere and generally playing 'spot the xtian' instead of the usual spot the pagan! Some purchases were made, and some heartfelt longings for other items put into our hearts, a fantastic day! By 4pm we were completely sensory overloaded, so decided to head off to the BnB, check in, relax and go for a meal to mull over our experiences.

Hill View Farm, another 'borrowed' picture!

We Stayed at Hill View Farm, a lovely 4 star BnB on a smallholding about 7 miles from Glastonbury itself in Wedmore, Ashton, a good base for exploring the locality, lovely and quiet, with lovely people running it. On arrival it was to find we'd been upgraded to a larger room and that there was a lovely slice of cake and mug of tea waiting for us, definitely a place we'd stay at again! Staying outside of Glastonbury was Lee's idea, as we both really would like to have a smallholding ourselves his thoughts were to get to see what they were like locally, and I have to say, not only did we do that, but also having the separation from Glastonbury itself worked well for us, we were able to visit when we wanted, but were able to escape and put some distance between us and the atmosphere if we wanted or needed it.

After a lovely meal at the Lamb Inn at Weare (great wholesome food, tasty, hot and plenty of it for a very good price) we returned to the BnB and popped Lee's laptop on, to check Facebook (dont ask me why, but we were 'told' to do so) On posting a status update saying we were in Glastonbury it was to find a pretty quick reply from a dear friend and Coven sister, Heathwitch, our former HPS, who was also in Glastonbury!! We hadnt seen H for 2 years to the day, the last time we met was at her Samhain party and Rite in 2008 (when she wore a fab 'Wicked Witch outfit, complete with full green bodypaint), and she immediately asked if we'd like to meet up? Lol, well, synchronicity such as this is something that doesnt happen often, it felt to us all that there was more to it, a message that we were receiving loud and clear from the Lady, 'I'll knock you're heads together if you don't LISTEN!'

We had planned to explore a bit more of the area on Sunday, before returning again to Glastonbury on the Monday to make some additional purchases before we came home (Man, Myth & Magick, The Goddess and Green Man, Lilith, StarChild,so many lovely shops with soo much lovely Pagan orientated things, I could spend an absolute fortune if I wasnt careful!), but after hearing H was in the area our plans changed, it was time to meet up! We posted back to H our mobile numbers, then said we were planning on going to the Chalice Well Gardens that morning and possibly staying for the lunchtime Samhain Rite, but didnt get a reply from her, so set off anyway and hoped that H would ring us and we could then arrange where to meet!

Borrowed picture of the Meadow at Chalice Well Gardens

We arrived early at the Chalice Well Gardens, to find that it was free entry before 12am (as it was Samhain), so after making a donation we made our way first to the meadow where we sat and absorbed the atmosphere and spent some time communing.

Borrowed Picture of the View of the Tor from the Chalice Well Gardens Meadow

 I started to hear the whispers of a voice touching my mind as we gazed at the view or the Tor from some of the seats placed there for meditation. The whisper was that of The Lady, making contact with me for the first time in a while, I got the distinct impression She was glad that we were here, in the place that is Her home!

Borrowed Picture of the Exit from the Meadow and the walk through the bower of trees.

As we walked away from the Meadow towards a walk under a Bower of trees I got a strong message, images and voices, overlapping one another, I shall recount them for you here to draw your own message from them!

'I am the Mother, from whom all that exists flows, for without Me there is nothing, Fear me for I am the destroyer, Love Me for I am the provider, I nourish and nurture, I bring change and growth but also death and decay! Worship Me in all My Glory and Might, Cower before My awesome power, Take comfort in My dark embrace, Draw Power from Me when you have a need, but never ignore Me!'

'I am the Horned One, I plant the seed from which all grows, for without me the Mother is barren and life cannot exist! I am the Hunter, the protector and the Horned One of the Forests and green places, I am He who is cut down so that all life may continue!'

 I shall stop at this point now, and continue the tale later, thanks for visiting Seeker, thanks for reading so far and bearing with my poor ramblings!
Dark Dreams
Suzanne

A Warm Welcome

Greetings Seeker, and a very warm welcome to my new Pagan orientated blog!

If you've arrived here, then you are probably wondering what this blog is all about, why has Suzanne started it, (especially if you are visiting from one of my existing blogs - DobbysPumpkinPatch - the allotment blog, or Dobbygraphs - my Photography blog) and whats it all about?

Well, the long and short of it is that after a weekend away to Avalon (Glastonbury) I got a metaphorical rap on the knuckles from the Lady, it seems that she considers that my practices have become secondary to my mundane life, that my creative spark (and the attendant meager talents that I posses) are not being properly utilised and that the time is nigh for all of that to change!

Lee at the Rollright Stones, during a Handfasting we performed for friends in 2005

When I first met Lee (my fellow companion on the Crooked Path, my soulmate, my lover and husband) 10 years ago (on Beltane) my Path was something that became an all consuming part of my life, generating our website (Silver Wolf's Lair - 65 pages, 160K words on all aspects of our practices) and the moderatorship of a large Witchraft online group and a lot of experiences as we learnt together along our Paths. Over time we found ourselves pulled in various different ways, walking a Crooked Path to gain our knowledge and experiencing many things to convert that knowledge to experience and wisdom. We've been members of various groups, practiced solitary and together and found some firm friends along the way, we've experienced the fallout from the break up of a group, have left another group when we found our Path to be taking us in another direction and then found others walking alongside with us!

Yet throughout we have always retained our sense of connection at some level or another, following our hearts and the call of the Mother to do what is needed when it has to be done! There have been times when we've taken a sabbatical, times when we have worked formally and others where its been more informal, and after our latest sabbatical it seems now is again the time for new beginnings, and as the Old Year now dies and the New Year starts with Samhain we find ourselves at a crossroads, with the call of the Lady being heard, the chance of working with 2 of our friends once more, but possibly this time in a newer way and a return to being more creative from myself (part of which is the formation of this blog, a place where I can come and muse, ponder my thoughts and feelings, share my insights and fears, post some of the poetry that I have felt compelled to write and share the occassional picture or photograph.)

So, I've said a lot there, without actually saying much at all, yet I'm sure any who read it will understand where we are, where we are coming from and thus be able to see how much the possibilities that are being put before us could mean, especially if they come to the fruition that I feel the Lady is demanding of us!

Anyhows, Ill sign off the first post here, and continue the story of how the blog was caused to be in my next post! Thanks for reading!

Dark Dreams

Suzanne